Had a horrible dream possibly today morning. Possibly the most horrible one I could ever have. In it a girl was being buried alive by her family, for reasons unknown, possibly she had fallen in love with some one against their will or something, and she was looking right into my eyes for help. I protested her burial, pleaded to them, but they wont stop. So I took a huge iron pipe to assault those daemons, but was confronted by a hit man hired by them who was also burying her, fearing for my life, I fled. I really fled.
Though its a dream, I am ashamed. Ashamed of my conduct. I must have fought,, perhaps died rather than to watch such a thing and flea like a fly. I don’t know when I will overcome my fear of death. Its the worst thing that could happen to me. In my real life I would watch a girl being snubbed by people around her, than fight for a just cause. I should have fought, I failed.
I don’t know why I got this dream. Is it because I knew that my second girl friend from Hyderabad was tortured because she loved me? Or is it because just a week or two ago, in my office a guy native of Kanyakumari stresses that he will get lot of dowry for his marriage and thats his right (which shocked me)? I don’t know.
There are thousands of organizations in this nation to uphold womens rights and to help them, but something is wrong. Truly women are not getting their freedom. When you see half in your race does not get equality (including my mom who won’t stop cooking for me), and you know they have equally superior mind, and they are unable to come up, its a huge upset. I don’t know what to do about it.
It has been very long since I have been an atheist, but since I was once a true believer of God, I wish there happens some magic and he descends to earth and resets things. If there is God, I am truly going to kill him for the things he does here (fortunately there is none to kill). Fuck these Indians / Asians / Barbarians.